More Things My Students Say

teacher, students, English Phone Teacher

Teaching English to people on the other side of the world means that I’m up before the crack of dawn every day, so it’s a good thing that my students are so entertaining. I can always count on them for a good laugh and a few compliments.

Here are a few of the gems I’ve picked up during my lessons:

They have impressive insights into life:

“I heard that Americans marry 3 times. The first time in their 20s for love. The second in their 30s for money. And again in 60s for no reason.”

“Everything is important in the universe. Mankind and not”

“First of all, my wife is very beautiful. I just husband. I worship my wife.”

I guess I’m running a little behind on that first marriage. I’ve got one year to get it done! Then I’ve got to start looking for that sugar daddy for my 30s. Any takers?

They can also be extremely honest:

“I am very fat man. Not Batman. Fat man.”

“I really want to hear your voice, but not now.”

Me: “Do you get along with your sister in-law?”
Student: “She’s beautiful. Unfortunately, she was married. I’m very envy about that.”

Me: “How do you clean your laundry at home?”
Student: “ I ask my wife.”

Me: “What kind of goals do you have for your future?”
Student: “Actually, I want to be tall.”

Me: “How would you describe your appearance?”
Student: “Well … handsome.”

Some are very conservative:

“I’m not Taliban, but I think woman should keep in their house.”

“I don’t like woman to work outside home. I think that is more appropriate role for woman.”

Poor guys were definitely preaching to the wrong woman. Luckily, I’m able to keep my opinions to myself during work.

But they really know how to flatter a girl:

“I love your voice very much. I love Texas girl.”

“I want to deliver your breakfast, but I can’t do that.”

“Your voice is good. Your personality is good I think.”

“Your voice is so young and beautiful and kind. Your sound when you’re smiling is very nice.”

Student: “I’m 51. How old you?”
Me: “I’m 28.”
Student: “Ooooh! Nice!”

Someone wants to deliver my breakfast? Yes, please! I’m always willing to let people bring me free food.

Of course, they’re also very concerned with my personal life:

“How about we just free talking? How about we talk about you?”

“In Korea, that is marriage age. Your age is old girl.”

One thing is for sure, my job is not boring! If you’d like to learn more about being a Phone English Teacher, click here. Or head on over and check out some more pearls of wisdom from my students.

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Sometimes People are Jerks

kindness, jerks, be kind or be quiet

Saturday night the boyfriend and I decided to splurge on dinner and a discount movie. Big spenders, I know. But this girl has to save money for her birthday trip at the end of the month. Not to mention, all the alcohol that it will take to help her forget that she’s only 1 year away from the big 3-0.

Okay, enough of this 3rd person nonsense. Who do I think I am? Elmo?

Anyway, there we were settling in for our $2 movie when I got a front row seat to Jerkfest 2014. As the lights began to dim, a woman in an electric wheelchair and her guy grabbed the last available handicap spot in the theater. The man to my right, who was reclining so far back in his seat that he was squishing the woman behind him, was not happy with this seating arrangement.

“I CAN’T SEE OVER YOUR HEAD!’ he snarled repeatedly at the woman, who could do nothing but stare back at him blankly.

When the opening credits finally began to play without disruption, I thought his entry for Jerkfest was complete. I never realized that he was aiming for the title of King Jerk. Within a few minutes, his royal highness was requesting that the woman move. That’s right. This able-bodied king of jerks was asking a woman in a wheelchair to move because he couldn’t see. Forget the fact that all the other handicap seats were occupied or that there was an empty seat next to the king. Nope. None of that mattered as he made her move.

I couldn’t believe the audacity of this man sitting one seat away from me. It was all I could do not to call him a jerk to his face. The woman on the other hand handled the situation with a lot of grace and dignity. She didn’t call him any names. She didn’t argue or cause a scene. She just moved. Unfortunately, that meant that she was forced to watch the movie from the center of the isle, while her manfriend sat in the row in front of her. Talk about a date night gone wrong.

It’s situations like this one that make me question the human race. We have put a man the moon, built buildings that kiss the sky, eradicated diseases, and invented the cronut. But we still can’t treat one another with the respect and kindness that we all deserve.

So today I’d like to remind y’all that your actions matter. Kindness matters. Kindness has the power to brighten someone’s day, make people feel less alone, and to change the world. Maybe if King Jerk had acted out of kindness, that woman could have enjoyed a fun movie date with her man sitting next to her. Maybe I would have been commending him for switching seats instead of making a scene. And maybe the world would have been shy one jerk that Saturday night.

So don’t join the ranks of royal jerkiness. Be compassionate. Be respectful. Be kind. And if you can’t be kind, be quiet.

be kind, kindness, jerks

 

Have you ever had a similar experience? How do you handle jerks?

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Top 13 Halloween Movies on Netflix

scary movies, halloween movies, scary movies on Netflix

Halloween is just around the corner! I love a good excuse to dress up in costume and eat insane amounts of candy, which may also include some Halloween booze. And you know what goes perfectly with candy and booze? Scary movies!

Watching Halloween movies is one of my favorite traditions, so I rounded up my top 13 Netflix picks for the perfect Halloween countdown. Let’s just say I saved you an hours long scroll through the horror section. ;)

Halloween Movies on Netflix

Nightmare Before Christmas

A family favorite and Halloween classic, this film reminds us that though Christmas is awesome (hello, presents!), there’s still nothing quite like Halloween. So before you head off to kidnap Santa, remember to enjoy the spookiness of the season.

The Possession

The Possession is a story about a little girl, her jewelry box, and her imaginary friend. And by imaginary friend I mean evil, soul sucking spirit. I’m sure you’ll think twice about buying that antique jewelry box next time.

Scream

A 90s classic that turned the question, ‘what’s your favorite scary movie?’ into a phrase to be feared, Scream never take itself too seriously. Poking fun at the rules of scary movies, it will leave you guessing throughout. And guess what! Netflix has Scream 2 and 3 for you to enjoy too!

6 Souls

Jonathon Rhys Meyers does a fantastic job in this creepy psychological thriller! It’s surprising twist will leave you thinking about it for hours.

Carrie

Based on Stephen King’s first book, this movie is a classic in it’s own right. This film shows us what happens when high school bullying, supernatural powers, and teen angst combine in an explosive prom night, literally. While I’m a bigger fan of the original, Netflix has both versions for you to choose from.

Rosemary’s Baby

Rosemary’s Baby is an old school horror movie done right. Not only will you be left wondering whether or not you really know your neighbors, but you’ll also be thankful that you didn’t have Rosemary’s pregnancy.

The Craft

A 90s favorite and cult classic, The Craft will make you want to put on a pair of knee socks, break out the Ouija board, and play a round of Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board. I just have one question for you – are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Insidious 2

Unfortunately, Netflix only has the second chapter of Insidious, but it’s still worth checking out. The film picks up as the Lambert family is attempting to move past their sons recent brush with evil spirits. This time it’s daddy who has to battle his demons.

Hellraiser

Hellraiser is the movie that will make you never want to solve another puzzle again, while also demonstrating the miraculous power of a single drop of blood. Apparently, one drop can bring your ex back from the dead, provided you’re willing to offer up some human sacrifices to complete his body.

Cabin in the Woods

If you like your scary movies with a bit of eye candy, this one is perfect. Chris Hemsworth puts down his mighty hammer to take on the role of hunky friend in this film. Though his Thor hammer might have come in handy when he and his friends were fighting for their lives in that creepy forest.

Children of the Corn

Children are adorable, but after watching this movie you’ll be looking at them in a whole different light. In fact, you’ll be sleeping with your door locked and avoiding corn fields at all costs. So go ahead, make it a marathon. Netflix has all seven movies for you to fill up on.

World War Z

If zombies are more your style, you won’t want to miss Brad Pitt and his flowing locks as they come to rescue during the zombie apocalypse. Who else but Angelina’s beau could save the human race? And the best part is that Netflix actually has the unrated version of the movie, which means you’ll get an extra dose of brain munching. Total win!

Devil’s Carnival

This musical horror film lets us in to the secret that the devil is a huge fan of carnivals, so much so that hell is one big twisted carnival. SOA fans might not be so happy to see that Unser has become one of hell’s best workers, but I suppose that’s what working with the Sons will get you.

Family Friendly Alternatives

The Adams Family

The Adams, the one family that makes yours seem normal. But if you really want to channel your inner Wednesday, put on some black, braid your hair, and refuse to smile.

ParaNorman

This is a cute story about a boy who channels his 6th sense to save his town from a century long curse. He may not get the chance to speak to Bruce Willis, but he does encounter plenty of other ghosts and zombies.

The Haunted Mansion

Who knew haunted mansions were filled with so many life lessons? While battling ghosts, this family learns a lot about togetherness and appreciation for one another.

What are some of your favorite Halloween movies?

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Let’s All Have a Dose of Equality

Malala Yousafzai, equality, inequality

Today is Blog Action Day, which means bloggers from all around the world are uniting to tackle the difficult subject of inequality. When I first heard about this day I knew that I had to take part. As an atheist, bisexual Latina in the lower tax bracket, inequality is something that I think about every day.

I think about the fact that 53% of Americans would rather vote for someone who has smoked pot, had an affair, or never held office than an atheist. And that there are still 13 countries where it is legal to deny marriage to an atheist or even kill one. Then I think of all the other people who are chastised, threatened, and killed because of their religious beliefs.

Bisexual love and relationships

I think about the fact that the validity and very existence of my sexual identity is questioned. And I’m immediately labeled selfish, greedy, promiscuous and unfaithful because I am attracted to both men and women. Or the fact that being in a relationship with a man makes people think that I am now heterosexual. That’s not quite how being bisexual works.

I think about all the other LGBT people around the world who are still being bullied and beaten for merely falling in love or embracing their true gender.

I think about the way people still ask me if I was born in Mexico or where I am from, despite living in a country that is supposed to be a melting pot of races and cultures. Or that in 2013 only 5% of leading roles in mainstream films were held by a woman of color. And the one show on TV that boasts an all Latina cast is centered around their roles as maids.

I think about the unequal standards in place for men and women around the world. On average, the American woman will earn $450,000 less in her lifetime than a man working her same position. And if she has great leadership ability, she is bossy, bitchy or  PMSing.

I think about the fact that the worst thing you can be is a part of the female anatomy – a cunt, pussy or twat. Or that we STILL say things like ‘man up’ and ‘stop acting like a girl.’

I also think about all the other countries that continue to deny women their right to free will. They are married off at the age of 8 or doused in acid for refusing marriage proposals. They are beaten and killed for wanting an education. And they are considered property for men to do with whatever they please.

Even in America, rape victims are still blamed for their attack based on what they were wearing.

Feminist, What is feminism

I think about how over half of the world’s finances are controlled by only the top 2%. The rest? Well, they often don’t have access to education, healthcare and other basic necessities.

And I think about the fact that we are responsible for these inequalities. Our ignorance, prejudice, and even compliance have denied people across the globe their basic human rights – their right to love, equality, respect, agency, healthcare, safety, and so much more.

We have been raised to think that life is unfair. But the human race has only multiplied that unfairness by the millions with each dose of inequality. It’s time that we work together to build an equal and just world for our fellow human beings. It’s time that each of us be granted the basic rights and respect that we deserve. So I hope you will join me in spreading the word about inequality. Together, maybe we can start a ripple of change that will travel around the world making it a more just place for the next generation.

What are your thoughts on inequality? Have you ever experienced it first hand?

Blog Action

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Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful

Be-Your-Own-Kind-of-Beautif

By society’s standards, I’m not beautiful. I have curves in all the wrong places. My hair often resembles something out of a horror film, instead of a Pantene commercial. And my style, which can only be described as lazy girl chic, consists of sweats and no makeup. Obviously, I’m a far cry from the photoshopped perfection that graces the cover of every magazine.

Yet, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m not a photoshopped beauty. I’m real – stretch marks, laugh lines, frizzy hair and all. And I’m beautiful in my imperfection.

Society has trained us to think that there is only one standard of beauty, one absolute truth. But that standard fails to recognize the diversity across the globe. There are so many body types, skin colors, facial features, and fashion styles that are waiting to be recognized.

There is no one way to be beautiful. There are many.

 

beauty standards, beautiful

 

While we do often rage against the images of perfection all around us, we still tend to fall victim to the limitations that society’s beauty standards have set. So we primp in the pursuit of beauty.

Almost every surface of our bodies are shaved, waxed, and plucked to a smooth like perfection. Every blemish is concealed with makeup and every grey hair with dye. A few pounds are contoured off our faces, while eye shadow is used to widen our eyes. False eyelashes provide that flirty fluttering look. And rosy cheeks offer a gentle glow. These days, even a natural look takes makeup.

Once our faces are expertly painted, the real fun begins. We wiggle into Spanx to contain any flab. And shove our breasts into bras specially designed to not only add a couple of cup sizes, but to make them stand up at attention. After all, we have to make sure our curves are in the right places. The final piece to beauty puzzle comes in the form of 3 inch stiletto heels that will leave our feet throbbing for days. But damn if they aren’t cute and make our calves look awesome!

It may take us hours to do what Photoshop can do in minutes, but all’s fair in the pursuit of beauty. Except when a woman dares to leave her house without primping to perfection. Then she’s attacked for looking too tired and unattractive. If she refuses to remove every single stray hair on her body, she’s a gross hippie. If she doesn’t follow the current fashion trends, she’s frumpy and a candidate for What Not to Wear.

Why do we rally against the airbrushed representations of women, but turn around and attack those who choose to embrace their natural beauty? If we hold all women to the rules of high heels and makeup, we are only reinforcing the standards that we are trying to change in the media. We are narrowing the definition of beauty to one set standard and dismissing all the other forms of beauty around us.

So instead of attacking other women, encourage them. Praise that fashionista for her amazing style. Or give that girl props for embracing her natural beauty. Don’t let the media rob you of your ability to see the beauty in the world around you. Embrace it. Love it. Live it.

Be your own kind of beautiful and let everybody else be theirs.

 

What does beauty mean to you? Do you enjoy primping or are you of the lazy variety like me?

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