Last month I broke the news about some big changes I would be making in my life. And now it’s official! As of last Thursday, I am a part-time ESL phone teacher. I have ditched the split shifts and one day weekends! Now, I work mornings Monday – Friday and have reclaimed my lazy Sundays. Of course, after 2 years of working a split shift I didn’t know what the hell to do with myself for the first couple of days. However, I’m quite adept at turning lazy into an art form, so I allowed myself a few bum days complete with a binge reading sessions and no blogging. Lazy days are pretty much the best days ever!
This week, I am back to blogging and on to my next business venture. However, to celebrate my new work schedule and honor my 2 years as a phone ESL teacher, I’ve decided to share some of the gems I’ve heard while on the job. My students never cease to amaze me.
What I hear the most:
“Your voice sounds young. It means you have pretty voice.”
“What is your job?”
“What do you do for living?”
Uh, I thought I was working. My mistake. I suppose teaching English to people at 6 AM should really be considered a hobby.
I have such a big impact on their lives:
“There are many teachers in my life and Lynsey is one of my great teachers. I will remember your name forever.”
“Hi teacher Nancy!!!”
It’s so nice to see I have such a big impact on some of my student. Oh, and my name is not Nancy.
They are so honest:
“I like pretty babies. I don’t like ugly baby.”
Me: “Did you read the article for class?”
Student: “Oh, no. I drank alcohol last night. *laughs*“
Me: “It’s nice to meet you.”
Student: “Yea, I know.”
I suppose some of my students should be given points for honesty. And alcohol consumption. You have no idea the number of hungover business men/women that I speak to on a daily basis.
They are always so interested in my love life:
16 year old student: “Teacher, your boyfriend handsome?”
“If I have a chance, I would introduce you to my brother. “
“You better hurry up and get married.”
Student: “Do you have chidren?”
Me: “No, I don’t.”
Student: “I’m sorry.”
“You have to socialize. You should quit this job.”
Basically, my student told me to get a life. I guess my anti-social tendencies have been shining through in my classes. Now, if only I could find that sugar daddy to fund my unemployed self while I search for this life. Maybe that guy’s brother is rich.
They are also willing to share lots of details about their love lives:
Student: “I think it’s dangerous for me to have romance.”
Student: “Because if I have romance people think I have a girlfriend.” (he is married)
Me. “You can have romance with your wife.”
Student: (after thinking for a while) “That’s true.”
“When my wife is mad at me I can’t stay in any house, not even the doghouse.”
Student: “My wife is just a housekeeper.”
Me: “A housewife. A housekeeper is someone you hire.”
Student: “Maybe that’s correct.*laughs*”
Me: “The person who pulls the string is the person in charge.”
Student: “That’s also my wife.”
Me: “For example, your wife is your ball and chain.”
Student: “I agree there!”
“Men can still have fun like single men after they are married.”
And sometimes they just get it:
Talking about Angelina Jolie: “I think she must be operating an orphanage.”