In our society, marriage is seen as a milestone in our lives to be expected and celebrated with romantic (and sometimes lavish) ceremonies. Little girls walk around dreaming about beautiful white gowns and delicious cakes. Women gorge themselves on reruns of My Fair Wedding, Say Yes to the Dress and Bridezillas vowing to have the perfect wedding, most beautiful dress and to not unleash their inner crazy. They pin all the wedding things on Pinterest mapping out their color scheme, engagement rings and wedding themes. The groom? Or bride? Well, they are often the last piece of the puzzle. Granted, the most important piece.
Marriage itself is hailed as a necessary step in making our lives complete. After all, didn’t we all learn from infancy that first comes marriage and then comes children? Well, life doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, despite the growing pressure for women to slip on their bridal shoes and trek on down the isle towards a life with a picket fence and 2.5 kids, marriage isn’t for everyone. And it’s definitely not for me.
The white dress, dream home and kids are merely not in my life plan. It doesn’t mean that my life will be any less fulfilling or complete. It merely means that I am choosing to venture down a different path than most of my friends and family.
Yes, I still believe in commitment. However, to me commitment is a promise and a decision that you make daily. It comes from within you, and no amount of ceremony can validate or prove it. The titles, the paper and the rings are all unnecessary symbols to me. I don’t need them to prove the commitment and love my partner and I have to and for each other. I see it every day when he takes out the trash, cooks dinner or lets me take control of our Netflix.
No, I will not miss the wedding. Wedding are crazy expensive! The Knot estimates the average cost of weddings to be about $30,000. That’s almost as much as the student loans I’m STILL trying to pay off. I can’t fathom shelling out that kind of cash for one day. I know there are much cheaper alternatives, but I would much rather avoid the unnecessary price tag and all the stress. Life’s way too short for stress. 🙂
My aversion to weddings in my own life doesn’t mean that I won’t be over the moon for yours. On your special day, I will be partying right beside you as I marvel at the beauty of your gown and ceremony. And I will wish you all the best on the next step in your journey. My own lack of wedding merely means that you will have one less gift to purchase during wedding season. Though if you’d like to send me a gift anyway, I’m always a willing recipient. 😉