Love EVERY Body #6 – Bum

We’re back with another segment in the Love EVERY Body Workshop. This month we’re focusing on everybody’s favorite lady lump below the belt – the bum.

Big Butts

Shapely rear ends seem to cause quite a commotion these days. They have inspired songs, dance moves, workout routines and lots of unwanted (and sometimes wanted) attention for those in possession of one, like me. Everyone wants to drop it like it’s hot! My butt is large, round, and shapely giving me an apple bottom to complete my pear shape body. And despite my ever expanding and contracting waistline, myΒ  bottom refuses to yield to any other shape. Just look for yourselves.

Love EVERY Body

Rocking an apple bottom guarantees that you will also be rocking some cellulite. I know most women cringe at the dreaded C word, but, to me, it’s just a fact of life. Cellulite has more to do with the connective tissue beneath your skin than the fat that lies there. So why worry about something you can’t change? Besides, being a big booty girl comes with so many other issues.

When you’re an apple bottom, looking for jeans becomes more like a treasure hunt than a shopping excursion. Those that make it over your lump are often way too big for your waist. And those that are a suitable size for your waist refuse to make the climb over your bum. Finding that perfect pair of jeans that magically makes it around your butt and fits perfectly on your waist is a miraculous moment celebrated in the only way I know how – a victory dance. Dresses and skirts are a whole different story. Though the front may fall to your knees, the back seems to disappear all together as it pulls around your bum. It’s almost like a mullet for clothing – business up front and way too much party in the back.

My curvy derriere can also be quite a pain in the ass (pun intended). It seems hell bent on knocking things over when I am merely trying to walk across the room. Perhaps, these are merely cries for attention. Boy, are they successful! Everyone always turns to see me bending over in an attempt to clean up my mess. Lynsey – 0; Bum – 1 million. It also refuses to allow me to lie on my back unless I want to spend the rest of the day nursing a backache. It’s quite a demanding bum.

Despite all the issues that accompany my apple bottom, I love it. It’s a soft cushion for me to lounge on during both my long work days and lazy days. It adds intriguing and appealing curves to my body, while also balancing out my thick thighs.Β  Dancing is that much more fun with junk in the trunk. And I got it from my mama!

I like Big Butts

Do you have some junk in your trunk? How do you feel about your lady lump?

  • My butt approves of this post! Your butt rocks!

    • Haha! I’m so glad to be butt approved! Your butt rocks too, my dear! πŸ˜€

  • Amanda

    I have NO ass! I hate it!

  • “It’s almost like a mullet for clothing – business up front and way too much party in the back.” Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    IΒ΄ve never considered that knocking things over with my bum was a cry for attention from it -one would think that it gets enough attention as it is!

    Loved the memes -you always know how to have fun with this assignments!

    • So glad you liked the memes! πŸ™‚ Oh, and my bum definitely gets way too much attention as it is.

  • I’m tall and thin, but as I’ve started running and lifting more weights, my booty has really taken on a mind of its own. I don’t mind it! I will let it stay right there!

    • Haha! Yes, running and weights definitely form a nice booty! Great job on the workouts. πŸ˜€

  • Nic

    This post is awesome. I would use an apple butt to shove people out of my way hehe πŸ™‚ xx

    • Hahah! I’ve totally done that! It’s definitely an advantage. πŸ˜€

  • i love this too much.

  • I have a jlo booty and I love to hate it! It is always the last place for me to lose weight.

    • Yes! In high school, my nickname was L.Ro because they said I had a JLo booty too. Haha And it’s definitely the last place for me to lose weight.

  • love that you love your bum! I have a pretty flat butt and wish I have more curves there!

  • You have a great sense of humor! Some Asian women are stick figures with flat bums. So compared to them, I got a bum. Proud of it :).

  • I also have a destructive derriere. They’re definitely just looking for attention. I can’t go anywhere without knocking things and having to bend over to pick them up. Though I do a tactical crouch rather than a bend & snap!

    • Haha! Yes, I also do the crouch sometimes. They just seem to always get in the way.

  • Love this post! I certainly have some junk in my trunk. I don’t mind it being there…I just wish that it fit better in pants! I can only wear certain brands so it limits me. I am quite curvy all around, I have a chest that balances out the butt. Then there are the more muscular legs…but I have the tiniest wrist that you ever did see. How are those bones so little compared to everything else? Crazy!

    • I wish someone would design the perfect pair of pants for the women with junk in their trunks! People have tried, but I’m not quite sure it’s truly been accomplished. Maybe one day. Hah.

      And I actually have fairly big bones. It’s weird!

  • kathy@vodkandsoda

    asians have flat asses. there, i said it. so to combat flat-ass syndrome and get an ass that brings all the boys to the yard, i had to do major plyometric training and trail running. now i love my ass so whenever my husband smacks it, i ask him: are you ok? did you hurt your hand? he just rolls his eyes LOL

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

    • Haha! He’s just trying to hide the fact that you DID hurt his hand with your rockin booty!

  • I have what some would call a “bubble butt”. I’ve never been able to find swimsuit bottoms that fit my hiney!

    • I have the same problem! Bubble butts can be so problematic for clothing.

  • Haha love this post, and can totally related to everything in it! The perfect pair of jeans is seriously a never-ending mystical hunt…definitely worthy of a victory dance!

  • Girl I wish I had a butt! Mine is like an extension of my back right into my legs it’s so sad! Mark has no butt either…..Pure Barre has helped raise up whatever little bit I’m working with lol

    • Troy has a little butt, but a butt none the less. Haha. And I say rock what you’ve got! πŸ˜€

  • I love both the images sooooo funny.

    I think a big butt is generally a winner. Mines in propotion to the rest of me but it’s relatively big. You look fab and you’re right a big butt is definitely better for dancing. We got a whole lotta booty to shake.